My first taste of reality

It is there after I smell the sent of fuel seeping through my skin itching its forever judgement. Tire treads cross my chest slowing my heart to disappointment as I gasp for deep breaths trying to maintain life. I try to stretch the length of my toes only realizing that my calfs have weakened from utter hate bottling up my ability to underrate my senses. My shoulder picks up my arm and places my hand in my focal sight, I cannot squeeze, my hand is shaking, and its covered in oil spills of dark oceans past. Breathing becomes a blessing as I start to hint laughter knowing that this is it this is the time that will forever be lost, My lips fatten up simultaneous with my eyes turning to glass. Blood spurts out of a cough and the back of my head starts to tingle, I spread my legs further apart on the ground and gently lye my arms spread apart as well. My eyes soon become closed and my body go's limp, The pictures in my head soon become reality and all I can think about is how comfortable I am. I see everyone, I see them young, beautiful and Happy, Dancing and joking lovingly with me and each other in a world of great color. What ever we wanted, it showed up...a glass of wine...sushi....a kiss...and her. She is laughing with me about our future and how we are going to be amazing but then she turned quickly toward me with seriousness, she lets go of my hand and repeats "you have to go" over and over, Its like I stopped walking and she continued. My eyes open and she returns but its very noisy and to many people are talking I hated it there it was painful. She was there... She was there..... and thats all I knew and thats all that mattered. I visited two different realities and she was in both, I come to realize one thing, there was nothing I could do to change my fate and I wouldn't change either for the world.